#there’s just miscommunication. lots of it.

[cimmerian-chaos]

This is just our own musings on things based on our own expirience in being nonbinary, and a bit of a train of thought rambling, but comparing our understanding of these types of issues before meeting and having a lot more trans women in our life, and irl vs before, where our only expirience with trans people in general was on reddit, and a few other places. But back then we had based on lurking in both spaces, had conceptualized the struggles of trans women as "struggles of being AFAB + tranphobia" when that's a wildly different take than the understanding than what we have now.

At the time we also felt more masc leaning, and our observation plus expiriences facing discrimination irl was that transmasc spaces seemed to be either be steeped in toxic masculinity, potentially due to transmascs feeling pressure to "prove themselves" a behavior that's a pretty common expirience being AFAB, but can wind up inaverdently morphing into toxic masculinity. Or what you say and do in transmasc spaces is heavily policed. We personally aren't sure if this is due to internalized transphobia, fear of the response of other trans people, including trans women, or what, bc we didn't stick around in those spaces to find out.

It makes me wonder if part of the problem might stem from how a lot of AFAB people conceptualize what being a man means and is, not fully taking into consideration that those concepts can be intrinsically colored by their expirience in being AFAB. Gender is a social construct, and I feel like a lot of trans people will easily say that in a "fuck the gender binary" kind of way, but don't make the connection of "all social constructs influence our behavior and ways of thinking on very deep levels"

I also worry that due to the spirals of miscommunication, misunderstanding, and consequential distrust, that it'll only deepen the divides that exist between trans men and trans women. We're seeing enough of it as it is with the rise of this behavior of seemingly reinventing gender roles with a queer spin. I feel that trans men and women would be able to learn a lot from each other just by taking the time to understand each others points of view, and uplift each others voices and expiriences, even if it's something that may take time to digest. I know that we've been all the better for it.

But again, we're equally suseptable to those same biases, so if any AMAB folks have any thoughts on any of this, we'd appreciate that input.

[walking confidently into a live minefield] I can't say for sure how we reached the point where "trans women everywhere (read as: everywhere online) oppress/hate/are secretly plotting the downfall of trans men" is a thing that people think is both true and reasonable to believe, but I think at least one factor is a stupid vicious cycle of bad actors and gullible bystanders where, like. you have some guys engaging in shitty misogynistic behavior > some women either try to explain why this behavior is shitty and misogynistic (to no avail) or just disengage entirely > instead of learning from this, the guys act all wounded about it > outside observers who don't have a great grasp on the situation (or maybe don't have great grasp on how misogyny functions in general, or think that only cis men can engage in misogynistic behaviors, or have some kind of unconscious hang-up against trans women) see this and think aw man, these poor dudes are getting ragged on for no reason! > people who weren't necessarily doing the original shitty misogynistic behavior are falsely pointing the finger at trans women for "starting shit" > this is obviously fucking irritating, and no one has an infinite well of patience, so after calmly defending themselves however many times, some of these ladies are just gonna start telling bad-faith jokers to fuck off > shitty dudes and gullible bystanders go "see, they're doing it again! those man-hating harpies!" > women continue to be irritated and (understandably) defensive, tell bad-faith jokers to fuck off > and so on and so forth.

and to be clear "vicious cycle" does not mean "oh well really it's everyone's fault for being involved in the whole mess." I think there's a pretty clear cause and effect here where if you're dismissive of women's voices and viewpoints, and hold them to unfair standards, and just generally aren't very nice, they might not be very nice to you in return. and why should they be!

[mambodork]

If you dont mind me asking, For the hoa buttercups au, how did they find out that they were not 'normal'/they were possessing bodies?

(Not really sure how to word this, but thank you for this silly au, and tysm if you answer my question!

Hope you have a nice day/night!

I think at the beginning, Grian would actually make an effort to make eyes instead of having them just be hollow sockets... not necessarily that he's trying to hide that he's a watcher, he just didn't want to freak out the others.

When he joined Hermitcraft S6, he did the entire "I'm gonna take your mustache away" bit with Mumbo. He actually did end up taking his mustache away, only to reveal that the mustache IS Mumbo Jumbo (my mental image of this is just him holding on to the mustache going all "YES. I DID IT! I TOOK HIS MUSTACHE!" Only for the mustache to suddenly go "Well this is incredibly rude" and Grian immediately flings him to the other side of the room out of surprise).

As for Scar, Grian had always known that he refers to himself and Cub as vexes, but he always assumed that he said it as like a bit, or maybe that he has a vex lineage or is a hybrid of some kind. My headcanon rn on how G found out is that one day, Grian went and spooked Scar so hard from a prank or something that he went through an out-of-body experience (literally) and just, seperated the vex out of the body. Scar is just "Oh gosh, that scared the life out of me (haha get it)" and Grian is just looking at him like. "Wait you're an actual vex." Meanwhile Scar is looking at him all confused saying "??? You didn't know???"

And how Scar & Mumbo found out abt Grian... I like to think that Grian eventually kinda forgot that the others dont know and just think whatever he's doing is normal. Im thinking Scar goes to complain to Grian one day, and the convo would go something along the lines of:

"Im so hungry but i dont have a body to eat."

"Oh. You can just eat one of my bodies, i think this one's gonna expire soon anyways."

"What."

"What?"

Eventually, Grian clocked in on the fact that "Oh yeah. Im actually not normal i forgot about that." And just kinda ditched the entire appearing human look and got rid of the eyes so he could have easy access to get in and out of the body if he wanted to.

Yeah.. my headcanon is that they never really meant to hide it or anything. There has just been a lot of not knowing and miscommunication going on 😭 this might change in the future though, idk !!

[hauntedhopeghost]

I have an angsty hc i would like to share with the class today: (inspired by a convo i had with @aannonn)

We all know how Green is considered good at everything? And how it’s a contrast to his first appearance in AVA 4, where he was visibly being beat up. Now he’s considered the second (lol) best fighter, only behind… Second.

Honestly, I’ve interpreted that as him getting better at fighting and building and stuff not just for himself, but so his friends can be proud of him, too. He doesn’t do it for himself, he wants his friends validation, too, that he’s done something amazing. He wants them to be proud of him, since he doesn’t feel like he’s enough for them. And so he sticks by them; (lol sticks) he’s considered to be very loyal among the group. (Or, it’s so he can protect his friends, so they would never get hurt again. In that which he feels as though he failed)

But. We’ve seen in Build Battle how they kind of… don’t celebrate his achievements. They’ve become used to him being good at everything that it’s almost expected of him. He wants their approval, but just ends up with getting his builds blown up, or summoning a Wither. And the entire thing with NBC, which i’m not going to dive into but yeah. Basically, his achievements become what’s expected of him, and from his perspective, it starts to feel diminished, or that they don’t appreciate him. (But he still tries to get their praise)

Thing is, I thought that Green has been a validation seeker for a long time now, but now in this arc, he gets it. Not from his friends, but from the internet. But a part of him still hopes he could be enough for them. (But he ends up hurting them, thinking that he doesn’t need their help to feel validated anymore. We saw how well that turned out)

So basically, because all of that didn’t make any sense and was me rambling my hc is: Green has been a validation seeker for a long time now, but it’s his friends, rather than social media. Now, though, he thinks he doesn’t need it from them. (Because he’s not enough for them, and when they finally come back from where they are hiding, he’ll never be enough for them after what he did.)

His character… AUGHHHHHH- his character…

[lazylittledragon]

i said that gale and cyra have disaster romcom energy and now it's all i can think about

[strangersteddierthings]

In the 19 years Steve's lived in this house, never once has he slammed his front door like that. Too scared of his parents' wrath should it have caused any damage.

It feels good.

He almost turns around to do it again, a fuck you to his parents and every decision they ever forced on him, but then he remembers. They're all in there. Nancy, Jonathan, Argyle, Eddie, Robin. In his living room, making declarations and decisions about Steve's life for him. Or, well, one of them is.

Like his parents do. Did?

He didn't grab his keys, wallet, or even his coat, but he's not going back for them. It's cold, sure, but Steve's sure his anger will keep him warm until he reaches a destination. Any destination.

He just doesn't understand why- Why they keep doing this to him.

Why he keeps letting them.

No. No, that's a lie. He keeps letting them because he knows, deep down, he's not a fighter. Not for himself.

He'll put himself between the ones he loves and danger in a heartbeat; he's done that since the first time he watched a petal-faced monster peel its way out of the Byers' wall in '83.

But his parents trained the fight right out of him when it came to himself. It was easier to not argue, to just do what they wanted. They'd smile at him when he was good. They'd take him with on shorter business trips when he behaved. His mom would even allow a quick hug if he impressed a shareholder with how well-mannered and quiet he was.

He won their affections with obedience.

He's never- Nancy and he love each other now, but in the same way they all love each other after having survived the horrors the Upside Down. But Nancy never loved him the way he'd once loved her. That was bullshit.

Even Robin and Dustin. He knows they love him now. Will love him forever, going forward, but both had admitted to having a predetermined idea of who Steve was and what he was like and they weren't wrong but they also weren't right because Steve's never been Steve a goddamn day in his life.

Steve hadn't even known Steve until monsters came into his life.

The way everyone used to refer to him as the Steve Harrington was a judgement all its own. A thing that he was, and had no say to be otherwise.

Even Eddie, in the Upside Down, and now, in his own house.

Steve finally feels like he might be becoming who he really is and he's surrounded by friends and it just made him stupid. He'd thought it was confidence, when he pulled Eddie aside to talk, to confess, but then-

Eddie telling him he's confused. Like Steve is a child learning new concepts and not an adult who has been questioning how he feels about men since he first noticed other boys in middle school.

Eddie telling him, 'you don't want this, man. Not really.'

It's not fair.

Robin came out to him, and he'd just wanted to make her laugh so she would quit looking so scared. Eddie came out to him, and Steve had thanked him for trusting him. Jonathan, Nancy, and Argyle confess to all dating each other and Steve congratulated them. But Steve comes out and gets told he's confused?

And Steve didn't even refute it. Just got so hurt he couldn't be there anymore. Left his own house because he'd told Eddie he had a crush on him, and asked if he'd like to go on a date sometime and Eddie said no and told him he was confused.

Eddie doesn't get to decide that for Steve! No one but himself can decide if he like guys or not. No one gets to tell him he's confused about what he's feeling.

It's- that's bullshit, is what it is!

Steve turns on his heel and marches back to his house. His hurt has fully morphed to anger now.

Steve hasn't run away from a fight since '83, and he's not going to start now.

He rips his front door open and is greeted to everyone just inside the door, in various states of putting their winter clothes back on. All the faces look concerned, but he scans for Eddie's.

Eddie who looks relieved for all of two seconds, when it seems to dawn on him that Steve is angry, and it's directed at him.

"The appropriate response," Steve growls as he steps through his door and punctuates those words by slamming it shut again. (It's not as satisfying this time, because he sees how it makes his friends jump.) He barrels on with his words, eyes never leaving Eddie, "when someone comes out to you, is to say 'thanks for telling me' or perhaps even 'thanks for trusting me' or, if one is so inclined, to just say 'cool, dude' but you don't get- you don't get to tell me I'm confused!"

Eddie takes a step back, knocking directly in Argyle, who steadies him, but he doesn't say anything.

Maybe Steve should be more calm about this, given the audience, but he's not able to stop the words now that they've started. "I'm not confused, and I know exactly what I'd be getting into. You don't get to- to try and make your rejection my fault. If you don't wanna date me, just say so. But you don't get to try and tell me how I feel about you!"

From the corner of his eye, he can see Nancy trying to subtly shift herself and Jonathan away from the door, probably to get out of what really should be a private conversation, but Jonathan's a bit preoccupied by catching Robin around the waist as she lunges towards Eddie.

"What the fuck did you say, Munson!" Robin growls, arms swinging out like she's going to claw Eddie to death.

Argyle has inched back a bit, putting distance between him and Eddie in case Robin breaks free. "You dudes should probably talk this out in private."

"Byers, if you don't let me go right now-"

"Robbie, I got this," Steve says, because Robin shouldn't be turning on Jonathan when he's done nothing wrong. Robin continues to glare at Eddie for a few seconds before she makes eyes contact with Steve. He raises his brows slight -I got this- and she furrows hers -are you sure?-, so he tilts his head -yes, really- and she deflates in Jonathan's arms and allows him to drag her away.

"We'll just be in the rec room," Nancy says, looping her arm through Argyles and following after Jonathan.

Eddie doesn't bolt, which is a bit more than Steve expected. They both just stare at each other until they hear the click of the rec room door.

"Steve-"

"That was fucked up, Eddie," Steve interrupts.

"Yeah. It was," Eddie says, but doesn't offer up more, even though Steve is waiting for an apology.

"That kind of reaction is exactly why I didn't come out sooner. What would be the fucking point if no one even believed me? Or worse, if you'd given me that kind of reaction like, six months ago, I probably never admit to liking guys out loud ever again. You can't just- you can't decide this kind of shit for other people!"

"I know! I- I freaked out, and panicked, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Steve," Eddie says, and he sounds sincere and looks almost fragile while saying it that Steve loses a bit of his steam. He doesn't want to just keep yelling at Eddie.

"Yeah. Well. Thanks for apologizing," Steve mutters, crossing his arms with a huff.

Eddie worries his bottom lip before he seems to gather all his courage and says, "have I fucked everything up between us?"

"No. Not- I'm going to, like, need some time to get over my crush, but no. It's- it'll just be take time-"

"No! I mean, I can't- if you don't, uh, like me like that anymore I get it, but I- what I meant was. Well. No, I guess that answered my question."

Steve is confused, now. For real, and not about his sexuality. "What?"

"What?"

"You did it again. Deciding for me if I liked you or not."

"Shit. Fuck! Sorry," Eddie drops his head into his hands and groans. "I'm fucking this up so bad."

"Than use, like, real, whole sentences and speak to me!"

"I like you!" Eddie blurts. "I have a crush on you, too, but I- I fucked it up!"

"Yeah. Kinda."

Eddie makes a really pathetic noise at that.

"Not so much we can't, like, figure it out, though," Steve offers. "Not, like, right now, because I'm hurt and angry, but like, I'm not going to stop liking you because of one fight. Not. Uh, not now that I know you like me, too."

"Oh," Eddie whispers, then frowns. "For real?"

Steve rolls his eyes. "I said it, didn't I?"

"Sorry, it's just, just good things don't happen to me. It's- I'm processing, okay."

Steve lets out a long-suffering sigh and heads towards the rec room. "If you want to leave to 'process' alone, I get it, but you're welcome to stay. We can get this party re-started and hang out."

Eddie's silent a moment, and Steve thinks he's going to ask if Steve's sure, but instead he gets a quiet, "yeah. I'd like to stay." and the sound of Eddie's footsteps following him to the rec room.

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss

[saederkrupps]

i think the hate for "miscommunication" in stories is undeserved. miscommunication is part of Being Alive, everyone experiences. you as the viewer think "ugh this is so annoying, why don't they just say what they really mean/why don't they clear it up" but in reality everyone is always miscommunication its a fundamental part of being alive and interacting with people.... im the lone defender of miscommunication tropes ok. i support u

[saltpepperbeard]

For this Sexual Sunday, the Morning After, but they're on the same page ✨💜

[selkielore]

I understand why sally rooney doesn’t resonate with some people of course but the way she writes such complicated painful relationships between people feels very real to my experience in life. and honestly a lot of the criticism about her work feels like a misunderstanding of the fact that she’s writing about irish life… like these are novels set in dublin not new york city….

[phoenixcatch7]

Loz fandom stop being angsty and give the daydreaming kids on big fun adventures with a cool glowing sword some actual whimsy and joy challenge

[lloydfrontera]

related to this do you think part of the reason javier wanted to be a knight of the frontera family so badly was because. that way he could stay. that way he could always be with them. maybe he wasn't and never would be part of the family, not really, but as long he could stay with them... couldn't that be enough? wasn't being allowed to stay worth giving his loyalty and even his life for them?

and do you think arcos accepted javier's oath as knight because he thought that maybe this way he could get him to stay. this way the child he grew to love as his own son would never have to leave. that he saw the kid he'd raised all those years, barely an adult and already ready to put his life in the line for someone else, and when he was offered the chance to keep him at his family's side forever, he took it with guilty relief. aware that if javier left he would go on to do great amazing things, so talented he'd be sought after by kings and emperors, but equally aware of the dangers that carried. that if javier left there was a chance he would never see him again. but if he stayed with them, if he stayed in their quiet and boring estate where nothing really happened... maybe he wouldn't become the great hero arcos knew he could, but he would be safe. and he's not javier's father, he missed that chance and he doesn't know if he can ever have it back, but he loves the kid like he were and isn't a father's duty to worry about his children's safety above anything else? isn't it worth it for the world to have one less hero if he's keeping his kid where he's safe?

[dairyfreenugget]

(Alt text under read more)

I think "one or more of them is in danger or almost fucking dies, in the process discovering their child's impurity, and then after a lot of emotional turmoil they just pass the fuck out the second they're safe and calm again thanks to the awful, exhausting day they've had" is a scenario I write weirdly often for this messy as hell family

Anyway. Family cuddles. My babygirl is exhausted and deserves to be held for once

ID start: A black and white doodle of the Pale King, White Lady, and Pure Vessel from Hollow Knight as humans. The three of them are covered in bruises and scratches. They're sleeping in a pile of blankets with the Pure Vessel tucked in between their parents, with only their face showing. The Pale King is hugging them with both sets of his arms, his face buried in their hair, while the White Lady lays beside them with her arm drapped over the both of them and roots coiling around them. End ID.

[peachdues]

Something I will never understand in fic fandom is the distaste for the miscommunication trope.

It’s the most realistic kind of conflict there is — humans have quite literally been miscommunicating with one another since the dawn of time. Wars have been started over it; relationships crumble, people are broken because of it.

And that’s the goddamn tragedy of miscommunication — all it takes is a single, fundamental misunderstanding to shatter everything. And people don’t talk once it happens because of hubris or their own hurt feelings. It takes so much work, on the part of everyone affected, to swallow their pride and be vulnerable and talk things out, which is why it doesn’t happen. People don’t like admitting they were wrong.

Miscommunication is natural and, quite simply, the most realistic trope in literature/entertainment.

[knife-dad]

Yes it's upsetting to watch all the characters in Dracula behaving the way they do, but that's literally part of the horror. Not because they are behaving poorly (although they sometimes are, by modern standards) but because they are behaving exactly as they should by Victorian standards, and are suffering anyway.

When you look at it in a historical context, the horror arises from the fact that these are good, faithful and virtuous (again, by Victorian standards) protagonists beset by an unholy evil that persists, unaffected by their faith or good will. In any other story, the integrity of the protagonists would help them prevail, but here it forms part of their downfall.

[amethyst-halo]

im noticing as i watch twt for the trillionth time that cooper moves his ears up n down but none of the funk trolls do, n i think that's a cute lil thing from being raised a pop troll bc pop trolls' ears are very expressive and funk's tend to just droop down naturally

[futuristichedge]

Thinking about which Sonic characters struggle in social situations and coming to the realization that it's the majority (if not all) of the cast.

[symbologic]

Luffy vs. Zoro at Whiskey Peak

Unpopular opinion maybe, but the Luffy vs. Zoro clash in Whiskey Peak made sense for their characters. You could even argue that it was bound to happen, given their personalities.

Luffy likes the people who feed him. In the the face of their suffering, no matter who's responsible, he's too angry to concern himself with the reasons behind it. Zoro, on the other hand, prefers to handle things independently without saying much about it, especially if it means his crew gets to enjoy themselves a little longer

So it's not really surprising that Luffy would be blindsided by finding their hosts cut up by his swordsman, and that this would send him flying into a fit of rage. If he's never paused to listen to context or backstories before now, why would he start here? And of course, Zoro is not the type to back down from a challenge. He will match Luffy's energy and respond in kind

"But if Luffy were a good captain, he would have stopped to listen to Zoro's side of the story." Vivi tells him he's a bad captain two arcs later, precisely because of this kind of behavior. It clearly leaves an impression on Luffy, and we see he's grown into a better leader by the time he reaches Amazon Lily. (Almost as if Oda set all this development up on purpose with Whiskey Peak. HMM...)

"But Luffy refused to believe that Nami had killed Usopp in Arlong Park." This argument is like comparing apples to oranges. Nami did not actually do the murder that Johnny and Yosaku claim they saw, nor is she capable of killing people in cold blood. Of course Luffy isn't going to believe Nami killed Usopp based on hearsay. But in Whiskey Peak, Zoro did cut those bounty hunters. Luffy sees the evidence for himself, and he knows the carnage Zoro is capable of inflicting once he puts his mind to it. There is no denying what happened. Nothing other than Zoro saying "someone else did this" (or Nami knocking the soul out of him) was going to stop Luffy from going ballistic

"Why would Luffy fight so hard to recruit Zoro into his crew, firmly believing that he wasn't a bad person, only to later attack him because he believed Zoro was capable of harming 'innocent' people?" Because the fight was never about whether their hosts were "innocent" or not, not really. Their fight was about what Zoro did (assaulting the ones who fed them), and how those actions made Luffy feel (mad as hell, because these people FED THEM) For Luffy, context did not actually matter at that moment in time because, for him, "they fed me" unequivocally means "they're my friend", full stop This is even shown again in Mocktown! Both when Luffy unquestioningly eats an apple from Doc Q, and when Bellamy buys Luffy a drink in Mocktown. In the first case, Luffy only lived because he was lucky. And in the second case, he assumes Bellamy is a good person despite all evidence to the contrary, only to have his face brutally smashed into the bartop by Bellamy. Luffy is shockingly bad at reading people who try to feed him.

Luffy has interpersonal conflicts with all the core members from East Blue at different times. The fight with Zoro is the only one instigated by Luffy. But surprisingly, their fight highlights their similarities instead of their differences. They still fight equally and work together against BW agents who try to interfere with their fight.

I think that's what Oda wanted to showcase with this scene.

In short, Luffy's initial anger stemmed from his protectiveness towards those who have fed him, while Zoro's actions were driven by his dedication to the crew and subsequent refusal to back down from Luffy's challenge. It was a clash resulting from miscommunication and misunderstanding, something that is not typically a problem for them — until it suddenly becomes one When all is said and done, they're both quick to forgive and forget. This, too, is fitting for both their characters. From that point onward, Zoro continues to demonstrate that Luffy's trust is not misplaced. And Luffy never, ever doubts Zoro again after this